The final blog posting.

After this I have to make sure all of my static pages are up to my standards and that’s it.

I guess I should talk about the “Ted Talk” I had to do. I really don’t remember much except that I looked at my paper way more than I should have. Was I swaying like I usually do when I stand? Don’t know, can’t remember. Did the class clap for me when I was done? I mean probably, since they did for everyone else. All I can remember is I got up, my mouth went dry as soon I was standing, and I spoke and kept awkwardly looking between my paper and teacher. Then I sat back down in my seat and had to try and stop myself from shaking.

Enough of that though. I’d like to forget all of what I do remember as soon as possible. Since this is the final blog posting maybe I should reflect on what I did and learned, and talk about what I’d like to do after.

Almost all of what I learned and how I feel about the project was in my talk, but the important parts were: I didn’t finish but don’t feel bad. I don’t feel bad because I learned what it’ll mean if I pursue writing as an actual career. I understand that I’m not likely to be the next John Green with a smash hit, so the project really showed me how difficult it is to divide your time well enough to do everything you have to, while giving yourself time to have a social life and have some fun. Another really important lesson is that I need to devote more time to planning, development, and outlining, since if you don’t at least have a vague enough idea of what you want to happen five scenes later, you’re probably going to get stuck.

After this I know I’d like to continue to write. The other reason I don’t feel bad that I didn’t reach my goal is because I remembered how much fun writing was. I don’t know if I’m going to jump right back into writing this story, but I’m not throwing the idea out. I’ll probably just set it aside to develop it more, and focus on things that I have a better feel for.

I don’t really know what else to say. I kind of wanted this to be all dramatic and meaningful, but it just kinda turned into this instead, kind of like most things in life I guess.

I should probably go make sure my static pages are good enough.

Happy Friday the 13th.

“Some Sort of Fitting Title”

So I guess  my previous posting was somewhat depressing, or at least on my end it was. I really did enjoy the break that writing the book would give me, and as I stated in a previous blog posting it kind of reignited my love of writing. I think what really went wrong was that I hadn’t done enough planning.

When I was initially considering this as my goal, I was debating between making it 100% of my first draft done or just 60-75%, which would allow me more time to plan and outline what would happen and who it would happen to. All I really had to start with was that one scene that song left me with and however it had developed by the time I began to write. I think if we don’t have another 20% project for 2nd semester, I’d like to sideline this story and develop it more and work on another story I’ve been developing and turning over in my mind for much longer. I know I definitely don’t want to abandon writing again. I can feel myself getting better and learning more with each letter typed and each sentence rewritten and edited.

I am really happy I could use this as my goal in the end, however, even if I didn’t necessarily meet my goal. Going into this year, I knew I’d have a class where once a week I’d spend a day job-shadowing a company in a field I’d like to study in college. I decided that whether I’d go to a fashion company or something writing-related would be what I’d end up studying. Obviously with the slim pickings for creative writing, I ended up choosing fashion as what I’d shadow, but this project aided me in realizing just how much I’d love to become an author, and gave me an idea of how difficult it’ll really be.

I feel like that last paragraph ended abruptly, but I’ve never been good with writing concluding sentences.

I guess now all that’s left to worry about for this project are the remaining blogs and the dreaded “Ted Talk” where I have to stand and talk for five minutes straight. I already have an okay outline going but I have no idea how I’m going to stretch it to five minutes or stop “uh” “um” and “like” every other word. Once a friend of mine was able to count every time I said like within a three minute window of me talking, and if I remember correctly he counted at least 28. I mean the pitch/gallery walk was bad enough, and those required me to either talk for nowhere near as long or be answering questions.

The only reason I’m not backing  out of it entirely is because I know everyone else has to do the same.

After my first three postings I found that while I write I can usually come up with some sort of fitting title, but nothing’s come to me for this one. And wow, a blog post actually submitted on time. How did I manage that? It doesn’t feel like I had to force myself to write so I could get it in on time either.

Also I just noticed there’s a word counter in the corner of the screen. Who knew I could actually write 583 words so easily. Maybe I should make this whole blogging online thing a habit. Maybe I could turn that into a book. It’d definitely be easier to write, that’s for sure.

Happy New Year

Incredibly late here. I should have had this in ages ago. Better late than never though, am I right?

I guess with the end of the 20% project so close I can’t really lie to myself anymore. I never managed to make as much progress on my book as I’d have liked to. I just got caught up in so much school work and the stress of this being my senior year and what it means. It just got to be too much for me to handle, on top of some other things. Now I have a project due for another class the final TED talk due for this one, both of which require a lot of planning, and all of the work I should have done before it was due and planning for and probably having panic attacks over semester exams.

I just didn’t have the time.

Assuming next semester is any less awful and we’re given the chance to do another 20% project I’d really like to continue work on my book. I’m just really disappointed with myself over how poorly I did this semester, and since my brain always goes into “worst case scenario” mode over whether or not I’ll actually graduate or if any college will even accept me.

Happy new year.